The keyhole

She stole the keys. She walked down the stairs with the most silent moves. She stole the car. It was maybe too late. Maybe too early. Or too soon. She didn’t care. "I’ll take my chances" she said.

Two years ago I stole my dad’s car for a day. But my conscience didn’t allow me to go away for real. I needed time. That was all. I love them too much (Is it actually ever too much?). I get attached too much. But it was so heartbreaking to watch the engineers leaving home. I taught about Ruth, our housekeeper and my best friend at the moment. She works at my house four days a week and during the weekends she was working at my first ex-boyfriend’s grandmother’s house. "Sweet" I thought. I was also a "wanna be" spy. The pain was too great to bear. I was also romanticized (is this word right? I don’t even know...I’m just guessing by now). That sweet smile trying to understand what I meant when I explained my thoughts about love. She’s extremely catholic (roman catholic). I was a "wanna be" gypsy. Her catholic background didn’t allow me to talk about love as attraction. So I did. Why? Well, I wanted to understand from a catholic point of view. Even knowing I grew up catholic, but not really. I actually understood why my parents got Ruth. Since I spent most of the time at home, Ruth was my source of spirituality during youth. Which was fine with me.

The car was short on gas. "Shit!". I didn’t have a good plan, so gas was not in it. I don’t remeber the sensation. But I do remember quietly talking to myself saying "Okay, you don’t have to tell anybody"..."They don’t have to find out what you’re thinking"..."You’re never, ever doing this again".

When I have too much free time, that’s when things start to get a little messy.

The way to the road I was thinking what should I do with my life. It was the best sensation ever. I decided. It’s extraordinary to think that stealing my dad’s car brought me back to the eastcoast.

Stop the car, stop the clock, the bossa nova song. Let’s go back and look through the keyhole from the other side and see things as they were...before leave again