Letter to Bella I - Gringolandia

Darling...After two months I write you. I know you're going to think the same as always: That "mala" is a MULA. But this time, believe me it wasn't so much "mulez". But rather cursed bad luck. Here go the powerful explanations:
Ever since I got here it's been a f...ing mess for me and all the changes. My paintings are more dead than usual. I've been trying to work on my portofolio again, I have nothing of my works from Brazil, no paintings, some papers...but that is not valuable. I've been lazy, not working at all lately, specially these past two weeks. You know that "doenca"...freaking bad luck that breaks me every once in a while...You can't have even the faintest idea of what all this has been to me. I'm not complaining, cause maybe this can sound surrealist, but I like everything that is happening. I'm learning as a "good mula" huaha, and learning, you know, is all that I need to survive in this jungle. I mean, I'm lucky, blessed or wherever they say in this Gringolandia. All this took place to the accompaniment of wonderful people. It would break your heart. As usual. Now, I know you must be crying already. Stop though. Cause I am laughing. They treat me well, thanks for asking, sometimes I confess we have some sort of obstacle, Gringolandia is full of bastards...but also...many and many wonderful people. This is New England belinha, some of them are boring and have their faces like unbaked rolls, but the mix of cultures here impresses me. There's beauty everywhere in this world. They'll always think about their superiority though. So, when I'm sick of silly questions about our "pais latino" I just turn around and forget. You know me, always trying not to stress. And by the way, I got a bottle of "cancao", I know it's not the best wine ever, but reminds me of you darling. Juliana gave to me last weekend, after Ryan's party. She knows I can't enjoy some God's blood in this Gringolandia and they think I'm child. Well, I am, I'll always be though. But miss our afternoons at the "Summer bar". Just you, me and our girlfriends.
Meanwhile I want to tell you, I miss you terribly. I love you more and more my friend. I also miss your mama, she still making that delicious "fuba"?..oohhh my, how good was that. I;m not gonna ask you anything. Because I know the answer. Or maybe I don't want know.And if you have a bit a time, go and see Vo, and give him a kiss as well. Just to let you know, I'm not alone in Gringolandia. I wish I could tell you many things, but won't be enough space for it and not even your patience, cause I know You must be getting nervous by now and my words will never be enough to explain my feelings at all. I would get you confused. When I received your letter I didn't know what to do. I must tell you that I couldn't help weeping. I felt that something was in my throat, just if I had swallowed the whole world. I don't know yet if I was sad, angry, but the sensation I felt was in first place of a great despair. I have read your letter many times, too many I think, and now I realize things that I couldn't see at first. Now I understand everything perfectly clearly, and the only thing I want, is to tell you with my best words, that you deserve in life the best, because you are one of the few people in this lousy world who are honest to themselves, and that is the only thing that really counts. It's so silly the way brazilians wenches (like myself) see life sometimes. But you know that, beeing one of them. Nevertheless you have to understand that no matter happens to us in life, you'll always be, for myself, the same "malinha" that I love and met at the "cantinho" in that creepy city of nowhere. Give a kiss to Tia monica for me and Carol..today is their birthday! Thanks for the magnificent photo. Again and Again. Thanks for your last letter. And for all treasures you gave me.

love

Mandita.